bipolar

Analyzing the stupid diary of Rafaela

 

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Written in 2010 by scholar Niza Diniz Pereira, this literary analysis says a little about the book Stupid diary of Rafaela by Gabriella Lima, which is going to be available in English version into e-book format any time soon.

 

 STUPID DIARY OF RAFAELA

Thoughts of a pseudo-bipolar by Gabriella Lima

 

This is a book in which the author focuses on two themes: the first is the Increasing compliance among adolescent to the virtual romantic relationships and the other is the detailed approach of symptoms and suffering caused by the bipolar disorder. The protagonist has a real boyfriend, but embarks on a fantasy, having another via the Internet, through which falls madly in love. Abandoned by virtual love she verges on madness, seeking answers to her anxieties; finally getting sick she got the diagnosis: bipolar disorder, a mental illness characterized by constant change of mood. In her diary, the author makes real catharsis, which describes in great detail the experiences arising from disorder: when in the manic phase, she has the sense of power, euphoria, has several boyfriends, and ideas flow quickly (without never realize them). At this stage, living fantasies, like Rafaela protagonist, who in delight, records in her diary that there is a 3 year old daughter named Clara, fruit of the relationship with her boyfriend. This child never existed except in your sick mind. Identifying this stage in the book: “Sometimes I think I am too much, cannot be less, being just a little bores me.”

On the other hand, records in her diary, the depressive phase, when your world falls down, watching for insomnia, pessimism, sadness, irritability, inertia, thoughts of suicide. This is a difficult stage when sinks into alcohol and drugs.

Identifying this stage in the book: “Today I live in a black hole inside me, sometimes have a name, but only sometimes.”

To summarize the review that makes itself:

“I am my own torment.”

From the moment she becomes aware of her illness and decides to face it, begins to work on her own behalf, marrying her first boyfriend. The protagonist in certain passage gives the impression that the goal of this work is to help people who suffer from bipolar disorder and accept that can have a normal life since beware, because the disease has no cure. Demonstrates that there are people with greater suffering that outperform. Final thought-provoking book: Was Rafaela even bipolar, or it was just a fantasy of a teenager?

Reading offers the reader the opportunity to review their virtual relationships with more criteria at the same time alert to the acceptance of random disturbances that arise in your life.

A brain called Rafaela

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9:37am

Sunday, july 12, 2004

I woke up early thinking about what to write in a new blog, this new page I’ve just created. I thought in pleasing many, in destroying a few; all in vain.

Before that, I had a hard time to sleep, I got dizzy and even fell to the bed.

I made a bitter tea, those you drink to remove all kind of evils, even the ones in the soul. I light up a cigarette that I haven’t smoke in a long time due to the recent principle of pneumonia. “This is not right and neither is healthy”, I thought. I looked those ashes being swallowed in the wind at the same time I was belching its black smoke …  And I could see faces through those polluted mists.

I started doodling. I scribbled in everything. I drew in the walls of my yard, the floor near the washing machine, my empty mattress, and as I no longer had what to stain, I started drawing on my body and when I realized, it was early morning, I got dressed and went to my morning walk.

There I found the leaves dancing and that delicious smell of nature. I started running. I ran so, so hard… Actually I was running from me.

 

Text published in “O diário idiota de Rafaela” – Gabriella Lima, 2011.